Is Someone You Love Suffering from Hidden or High-Functioning Alcoholism?

By Hugh C. McBride

In the aftermath of a horrific automobile accident that killed four adults and four children, autopsy reports indicated that driver Diane Schuler had consumed 10 alcoholic drinks and smoked marijuana within an hour or so of the collision.

At an Aug. 6 press conference in Long Island, New York, Schuler's husband, Daniel (who was not involved in the crash) told the assembled media that he had never seen his wife drunk.

"I never saw her drunk since the day I met her," Daniel Schuler said of the woman authorities are blaming for the accident, which also claimed the life of Shuler's 2-year-old daughter and put his 5-year-old son – the crash's only survivor – in the hospital.

"She is not an alcoholic," Daniel Schuler said. "She was the perfect wife."

The world may never know if Diane Schuler was, indeed, suffering from alcoholism, or whether her husband is lying, in denial or telling the complete truth. But the Schulers' tragic experience has caused the public spotlight to shine on an oft-ignored and misunderstood topic: hidden, or high functioning alcoholism.

It has also caused countless individuals to take a closer look at their friends and family members in search of signs that could answer the potentially life-saving question, Is someone I love suffering from hidden alcoholism?

Hidden Alcoholism, Silent Suffering

The stereotype of the stumbling, disheveled drunk has long since been revealed to be a gross oversimplification of what alcoholism "looks like." But many individuals cling to the mistaken belief that they can easily spot the signs of alcoholism or alcohol abuse in close friends and family members.

Experts, and experience, indicate otherwise.

Though they suffer from the same disease that incapacitates others, hidden or high-functioning alcoholics are able to maintain a facade of normalcy – paying bills, keeping jobs and maintaining relationships.

“The story of the [high functioning alcoholic] is seldom told,” Sarah Allen Benton wrote in her book, Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic: Professional Views and Personal Insights, “for it is not one of obvious tragedy, but that of silent suffering.”

Signs of Hidden Alcoholism

Silent though the suffering of hidden alcoholics may be, they are engaging in a dangerous, potentially deadly behavior that threatens not only their own continued well-being but also the lives of those around them.

And though hidden or high-functioning alcoholics may go to great lengths to hide their drinking from friends, family members and colleagues, connecting certain behavioral dots can allow an observant person to identify the problem – and, hopefully, convince the alcoholic to get help.

The following are five common signs of alcoholism:

1. Constantly thinking about getting alcohol or having a drink
2. Being unable to control the amount that one drinks (stopping by a bar for "just one drink" turns into a binge)
3. Continuing to drink even after alcohol-related damage to one's health, relationships or career
4. Having to drink greater and greater amounts in order to achieve the same high that used to result from just a few drinks
5. Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when unable to ingest alcohol

Questions to Ask Yourself

Though hidden alcoholics are probably not talking a lot about drinking and haven't yet shown signs such as being arrested for driving drunk or showing up at work while obviously under the influence of alcohol, this doesn't mean that they're not suffering from alcoholism.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you suspect that a loved on has a secret alcohol problem:

• Does your loved one have a drink first thing in the morning, or right after getting home from work? (Even if it's only one drink, this demonstrates a pattern that could indicate dependence. And many hidden alcoholics have said that they masked the extent of their drinking by having one or two in the company of others, then sneaking away for many more in private.)
• Does your loved one have a habit of missing meetings or appointments for unexplained reasons? (This could mean a person is too drunk or hungover to attend, or is drinking instead of being where expected.)
• Does your loved one appear to become agitated or nervous after extended periods of time in the presence of others without having a drink? (This could indicate the onset withdrawal symptoms.)
• Has your loved one experienced any financial shortages, losses of money or other related problems for which no logical explanation was offered?
• Have you ever discovered that your loved one lied to you about where he was going, who he was with or what he was doing?
• Does your loved one ever appear to be glassy-eyed, confused or otherwise less than completely competent? And are these troubling displays usually explained away as allergies, reaction to medication or other less-than-believable excuses?
• When you step back and consider your loved one's actions and patterns of behavior, do you suspect that an alcohol problem could be to blame?

How to Help

If you suspect that someone you care about is hiding an alcohol problem, you need to take action before irreversible damage occurs. Depending upon the nature of your relationship with this person, your intervention may take a variety of forms, from having a casual conversation to making an appointment with a professional interventionist.

Alcoholism is a disease that clouds the mind and changes behaviors, so convincing a person to admit a problem and agree to get help is no simple task. But even people who appear to be functioning at the highest personal and professional levels are walking a tightrope between despair and devastation if they are secretly abusing alcohol.